I'm still in bed, in my sweatpants as I write this. I have begun to fester in this lifestyle we're living. If you're just tuning in, Rebs and I are living the semi-nomadic lifestyle of living with family and friends for three and a half months until we return to Korea. So far, we have stayed in Tulsa, OK, at my parents, Colcord, OK, with my sis and brother-in-law, Fayetteville, AR with Preston & Leslie, and with Rebs' mom, Rogers, AR with Rebs' grandparents, Kansas City, KS with Rebs' cousins, Lawrence, KS with Rebs' Uncle Brian, Ft. Scott, KS with Rebs' grandpa, and now we're back in Tulsa with my parents again. Some of these places we've stayed more than once.
There have been so many blessings in this life. We've been able to spend time with people whom we love that we would not have been able to if we were working a normal job. God has provided us a unique opportunity, living the way we are. But on the other hand, this lifestyle is not all glamorous. I can't think of how many times we've re-packed our suitcases, all along the way collecting more stuff and wondering in the back of our minds how we're going to get it back to Korea. I've personally gotten an almost entirely new wardrobe since we're going to be "professors" (believe me when I say that I use that term loosely). What is "business casual" anyway. Up to this point in my life, I've been able to get by wearing only jeans and t-shirts most of the time with an occasional dress up to spice things up.
But yes, packing and re-packing is getting old. I've come to recognize that I am a type-A personality in a type-B situation. There is nothing going on right now that I have to do. Nothing calling my attention. When I was a kid, my parents gave me this card that did some sort of definition of what my name meant, which supposedly Dustin means "valiant fighter". I know, a little cheesy, but in many ways it fits me. I have this drive inside of me that just needs to come out-- sometimes in the form of anger, sometimes competitiveness, sometimes general exercise. But it's definitely there. I feel this need to do something worth doing. Do you ever feel this? I don't want to just check stuff off my list of stuff to do. I want to feel like what I'm doing matters.
Normally, my life is reflective of this drivenness, and the drive within me expels itself naturally. But in this rare situation, I have become irritable and restless. I do not get high off shopping like my wife does. She dances around the room in her new shoes that she's so proud of, especially since they only cost her $7.50, which she continues to remind me of with a big smile, like a child to her father, wanting him to be proud of her. I love my wife.
I'm thinking about the people who might be reading this and the jealousy that it might ensue. That's not my purpose. My writing feels more like a description of who I am right now. A little sporadic, a little unfocused, a bit pent up. So for those of you at work, keep it up. I'm slightly jealous of you, especially if you love what you're doing. I want to work hard for some projected goal, whatever it is. But I know that this is where I'm supposed to be right now. Maybe not in bed at 1:20 in the afternoon, but here, resting, storing up energy for our next big adventure that should start just over a month from now.
May God show you his work that you may be a part of it and find joy in doing so.
-----dusty--<><--
