Since We've Been Home

Journal entry written on Monday, November 17, 2008 while we were on vacation at Horseshoe Canyon Ranch.

Man, what a perfect, amazing, beautiful day. A “rest” day for us. This morning we drove into the small mountain town of Jasper to eat at the delicious and quaint Ozark Café. It seems to be the town hub where everyone comes to visit and eat. Dusty and I both had the morning special: sausage, an egg, hash browns, and a biscuit and gravy. We shared some fresh squeezed orange juice and vanilla cappuccino. Then we drove up here to spend the day at Sam’s Throne. I’ve never been here before but have always wanted to come. It is glorious!

I’m sitting on top of a huge bluff overlooking a valley full of trees and pastures. The sun is shining and there isn’t a cloud in the sky. All I hear are trees blowing in the wind and bellowing cows down in the valley. It’s maybe 55 or 60 degrees with a slight breeze. As I write this I’m sitting on a flat rock near the edge of a cliff. I’m wearing warm hiking socks, a pair of old, worn blue pants, a red, long-sleeve wicking shirt, and my new puff jacket. It’s the exact same thing I wore yesterday down to my underwear. I’ve taken two showers in the last six days. My muscles and body are tired and relaxed but not sore. My husband is laying about ten feet behind me in the hammock and my dog is curled up, sleeping underneath him in the shade. This moment is flawless. It’s a moment I’ve longed for. It’s a moment I’m committing to my memory so that I can carry it around with me like a priceless treasure. Thank you, Jesus.

We’ve been home two and a half weeks now. We’ve been going at a frantic pace. The time has been spent traveling from place to place like nomads. Home is wherever we happen to be at any give time. We’ve seen most of our friends and family, have eaten numerous good meals, and spent a good share of time in the outdoors climbing, hiking, and camping. The past week has been spent here in the Buffalo River / Blue Mountain Region. It’s the first opportunity we’ve had to be alone with each other for an extended period. I’m starting to slow down and reflect on the last year of my life.

My grandma says I need to write a blog to wrap up our past year in Korea. Well, she’s right. But it’s a daunting task. I’m not sure where to begin and I know it’s not something to which I can give a succinct summary in a single blog. No, I’m afraid this will take some time. I hope to reflect on what I’ve learned as it comes to me. It’s slowly being revealed. For now, I find it easier to start from the present and work my way backwards.

The following is a brief summary of my life since I’ve been back in America:

Thursday October 30th - Come home from Korea. Eat a delicious dinner at Dusty’s parents. Crash.

Friday, October 31st – Biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Mmm! Go visit Dusty’s grandparents. Take two naps. We were exhausted from jet lag and a 15hr. time difference. Delicious fish tacos for dinner.

Saturday, November 1st - Hand out Christmas light fliers around Dusty’s parent’s neighborhood. It’s a side business that we’ve been doing for the past several years to make some extra cash for the holidays.

Sunday, November 2nd – Delicious waffle breakfast. Boulder at Chandler Park in Tulsa. I beat Dusty for the first time on a boulder problem! Spend evening catching up with Nate and Val.

Monday, November 3rd - Drive to Siloam Springs, AR. Buy short-term, catastrophic health insurance over the phone on the way over. Hang out with Cass, Brandi and the kids at New Life Ranch.

Tuesday, November 4th - Drive to Fayetteville, AR, renew driver’s license. Vote for Obama. Visit my mom at work. Stay the night with Preston and Leslie.

Wednesday, November 5th - Meet with church elders and plan a time to speak in church. Meet with our lawyer regarding Dusty’s car accident from a way, long time ago. Rummage through storage unit looking for stuff. Spend afternoon climbing at Shepherd Springs. Community group at Preston and Leslie’s.

Thursday, November 6th – Climb at Lincoln Lake with Leslie. Community group at Cass and Brandi’s. Catch up with friends.

Friday, November 7th - Babysit India and Jude. Drive to Fayetteville, AR. Have dinner at Marketplace. Stay the night at Mom’s with Nate and Val.

Saturday, November 8th - Early oatmeal breakfast. Morning drive out to Horseshoe Canyon Ranch. Climb all day with Nate and Val. Hopped on my first 5.12 (Lavendar Eye). Didn’t finish.

Sunday, November 9th – Church. See… everyone. Spend afternoon at Mom’s with Grandma and Grandpa. Rake Mom’s yard.

Monday, November 10th - Rain… all day. Get ready for trip. Catch up on e-mails and correspondence. Do a little shopping.

Tuesday, November 11th - Pack up and drive out to HCR. Set up camp. Get in a late afternoon bouldering session.

Wednesday, November 12th - Climb all day at the North Forty in the corridor. Feel like crap. Hop on Horny Goatweed (5.11a) for like, an hour. Couldn’t get the start. Argh!

Thursday, November 13th - Beautiful day. Dusty feels like crap. Ended up being a rest day. Take a short hike to a secluded area with some picnic tables. Start the Walking with God workbook. Hang out in the tent, reading and napping.

Friday, November 14th - Hop on some climbs up at the North Forty. Starts to rain just as Dusty gets on Crimp Scampy (5.10+), one of my goal climbs for this trip. He leaves some draws for me. We sit together on a ledge waiting for the rain to stop. It doesn’t. Darn! Hike down to our campsite in the rain. Put on our rain jackets. Hike down to the Outpost and return some phone calls. It’s freezing. Drive down to the Buffalo Outdoor Center cabin and shower. Have dinner with Dusty’s parents at the cabin. Cass, Brandi, and kids come out. Sit by the fire and talk.

Saturday, November 15th – Freezing cold morning. Sleeting. Yes, sleeting… and windy. Drive down to the cabin. My mom comes out to the cabin. Have breakfast. Everyone bundles up. We drive up to HCR, hike up to the North Forty and climb. It’s freezing and still sleeting. NO FUN!!! We hike back down to our campsite. Spend the afternoon sitting around a big bonfire. Drive down to the cabin. Big spaghetti dinner. Yum! Then met Clay and Preston up at our campsite.

Sunday, November 16th - Short hike with the Woodson’s and Harris clan. Then back up to HCR. Climbed the North Forty all afternoon with Clay and Preston. Led and finished Crimp Scampy. Yay! Two sits. Hopped on a 5.12 and then 5.11. My arms felt like they were going to fall off. Good, hard afternoon of climbing.

Monday, November 17th - This brings us to today at Sam’s Throne. Relaxing, resting, spending time in God’s creation.

You could say we’ve been a little busy.

Little Heartbreakers

Monday I was taking roll in one of my classes, knowing that this would be my last class with these particular students. Everyday at the beginning of each class I'd always ask each student how they were feeling. The typical answers were, "I'm fine, I'm happy, I'm tired, I'm hungry". But Monday the third student I asked said, "I'm sad." Now whenever my kids say they are sad, bad, or angry I always ask why. So I asked why she was sad and she said, "Because Rebecca teacher go to America on Wednesday." And my heart melted and broke at the same time. My eyes welled up with tears. The remaining 9 kids in the class all proceeded to tell me they were sad when asked how they were feeling that day. It was all I could do to hold back my tears.

It was bittersweet saying goodbye. My students each let me know in their own special way that I matter to them. To know that I've made a difference in their lives is a satisfying feeling. To know that they care enough about me to tell me they'll miss me makes me feel special and honored. It means I've done my job. I've tried so hard to listen, to love, to care, to teach, to empower, to encourage, and to praise. So many times I've wondered if I was doing a good job. It hasn't always been easy but in those last few days with my kids, I was reminded that the struggle and effort was well worth it. Such precious children, they are. They made my heart grow bigger. What a gift. I already miss them so much. I'll probably never see them again but they will always be in my memory and my heart will soften each time I think of them. If only they knew how much I love them.