Sunday, January 3, 2010

Why I Climb

Climbing is the most helpful thing in my life in terms of relieving my anxiety and worries about the future. It feels so parallel to my life right now. It's hard, scary, and fun all at the same time. There is a lot of mystery, challenge, and uncertainty involved. Sometimes I feel really vulnerable and insecure. Other times I feel confident and strong. But what I like most about it is that no matter what the circumstances are, no matter where I am on the rock, I always feel alive and fully present. My focus is on whatever is presented in front of me in the moment. Everything else melts away and it's just me up there alone with my Maker and together we dance up the rock. It's so wonderful to be able to focus on climbing for an extended amount of time. It's relaxing, therapeutic, and my main creative outlet. My hope is that I will be able to take all of this and apply it to the rest of my life.

A Relaxing Day

Just to warn you, this might be a looong post. It's a shame that we've been here in Thailand for 17 days now and this is my first post. I wrote a lot in my journal while we were volunteering at the Bamboo School but didn't have access to internet to share my thoughts so that will have to come later (maybe on our cruise). We arrived in Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand the morning of the 29th and have been loving our time here. We've just been so busy having fun and today is the first day I've actually slowed down enough to blog. Honestly, it's been really nice not having the internet be as accessible. I haven't missed it at all and have enjoyed having an excuse not to communicate so much through a computer screen. I think I'd much prefer pen and paper but the rest of the world just can't seem to be patient enough for that. I think that's rather sad. So, I spent the afternoon writing postcards and quite enjoyed the time and thought process that went into it. It was simple and easy and gave me time to think for a bit about each person I wrote.

Today we got to enjoy a wonderful rest day in the sun. We've just been laying out by the pool reading, writing, and relaxing. It's the first day since we've been on vacation that's felt 'restful'. We've been busy! Let me catch you up on our days in Chiang Mai.

Tues 29th
We left the Bamboo School around midnight of the 29th and arrived here around 8am. We were TIRED. We quickly found a place to stay, however for the first night we took a room with 2 twin beds because it's what was available and we didn't want to drive around in a taxi looking for a place all day. We just wanted to SLEEP! Any accomodations were a huge step up from the orphanage so we were happy with our little room and were promised a room with a king sized bed the next day. Hooray! So, the first thing we did was take a long nap. Boring. Then we got up, walked around and explored the town. It's beautiful here. Very dry heat and then it cools down at night you can be comfortable with a light sweater or scarf. We shared a pizza for lunch. Let me just say that this place has cheap and delicious food options galore and after eating rice and veggies 3x a day for 11 days, good food tastes amazing! We then went and found the climbing school, signed up to get a ride out with them the next day, browsed in some shops, checked our e-mail and facebook, dropped off our laundry, got Thai massages, ate delicious Thai food for dinner, checked out the night bazaar, and crashed.

Wed 30th
Woke up early. Showered (how wonderful a long hot shower felt after 12 or so days without one), dressed, and packed our bags to be moved to a room with a big bed. (On a random side note, the power just went off and so computer quit on me. Thank goodness for auto save but still argue for the pen and paper method.) Had breakfast at our hotel followed by a brisk walk to catch a ride out to Crazy Horse (the climbing area). It was a slow, relaxed day of climbing as I was pretty tired still from our travels. Upon our return home we found a stand with fruit shakes for 15 baht which is about 50 cents. I got a watermelon shake because they are my favorite. You should know I get at least one fruit shake (usually more) everyday. They are cheap and delicious and made with fresh fruit. We then dined on some organic masuman curry for dinner, booked a different guest house in a location closer to the climbing school (with a pool) for the 2nd through the 8th and crashed headed for bed.

Thur 31st
The day started off great. It was our first official rest day since being on vacation. We slept in. Dusty got up and went for a run while I sawed logs all morning and let him bring back some breakfast. Then we got up and headed to the market for some fruit and snacks. Then of course, had to get a fruit shake on the way back. We got some Mexican food for lunch. Yum! Then I went for a pedicure and massage while Dusty spent some time on the internet. The day went down from there. This was the last day of the grading period at our school. Up until now students can check their grades, e-mail their professors, and request a grade change. I checked my e-mail and found I had several last minute e-mails from students (especially my dreaded medical students who were awarded with several F's). So, I spent the next several hours adjusting a select few grades and responding with explanations to students who complained or 'couldn't believe' their grade. Blech! Glad that's over with and we don't have to do anymore work for Kwandong University. We're definitely leaving there feeling a little mistreated and with a bitter taste in our mouths. Still no explanation as to why we weren't resigned but my Canadian coordinator said the Korean administration (aka people in charge) were very secretive about letting us go and kept even her out of the loop. She also said 'people' tried very hard to get them to keep us on but they are stubborn and don't like to listen to reason. So... we're forced to move forward in our lives and accept the fact that they don't have the human decency or ethical integrity to speak with us face to face or offer us any form of explanation. It just makes it hard to know what we did wrong, if anything.

In addition, the school we interviewed with last minute before we left Korea had told us they'd have a decision made by the 31st of Dec. We were anxiously awaiting to hear something, anything but still haven't gotten a response and today is the 3rd so I think it's safe to say we didn't get the job. I think more than anything, I'm just frustrated with the lack of communication we've had lately with Korean institutions. It makes me angry and frustrated. I'm left feeling a little vulnerable and disappointed. I want so much to feel like I can trust people to treat me fairly and respectfully but I guess things don't always work that way. Needless to say, I closed out the new year feeling a little sad and anxious about our future. I think Dusty and I are both happy to have the end of 2009 behind us and are opening 2010 with a new beginning. We're just not sure exactly which direction we're headed, but we will figure that out soon enough. I'm trying to approach it more as an adventure and opportunity to choose another direction rather than freak out and act out of fear and anxiety. And I get to do it all with my sweetheart by my side. As Dusty already wrote, we closed out 2009 in downtown Chiang Mai. We were both pretty tired and came home early. But we were woken up at midnight to an awesome fireworks display right out our window.

Fri 1st
Happy New Year. The climbing school here told us they'd be closed the 1st through the 3rd so we were on our own if we wanted to get out to climb. Crazy Horse, is about 60km away. Dusty had been wishing, hoping, dreaming, and talking for a long time about his desire to rent a motorbike. Any my response had always been, “No way! That's crazy!” I don't know how he talked me into it. I guess he enticed me with back to back days of climbing. He does know me well. So I hesitantly agreed to his little plan and my heart rate and anxiety instantly went through the roof. Somehow he managed to get me on the thing. Although I almost cried I was so scared. But we made it all the way out there without incident and I was proud of Dusty for driving so cautiously. We spent Friday afternoon climbing a wall that was completely in the shade and we had it all to ourselves the entire time. We were picked up Friday evening and taken to a homestay near Crazy Horse, something Dusty planned the day before with the climbing school. We stayed the night in a rustic bungalow and enjoyed a delicious Northern Thai dinner cooked by the homestay family in celebration of the new year.

Sat 2nd
After breakfast in the morning, we trekked about 2 miles back up to Crazy Horse for a bit more climbing. We hiked all the way up to The Rooftop which is the highest wall there and is completely in the sun. Again we had the wall to ourselves and we did three wonderful climbs overlooking the valley below before hiking back down and doing a few more climbs on another wall in the shade. The climbing here is very dimensional with limestone tufas and stalagtites full of pockets and cool looking arches. It's really fun to climb and very different from climbing a one-wall face like we're used to. We decided to call it a day early. My muscles were tired from back to back days of climbing in the sun and heat. So we slowly made our way back home on the motorbike again without incident. I was SO relieved and deeply relaxed after a few hard days out there. We turned in our bike and moved all our packs to the Smile Guesthouse which is where we are now. They sold me with their pool and sun deck. Then we got showers and headed for dinner. We enjoyed some more delicious Mexican food (my favorite) followed by some more shopping at the night bazaar. This time we actually bought some stuff. Then we headed home.

Sun 3rd.
What an awesome, relaxing day. We slept in until 8:30 and then went for a brisk walk around the square. Downtown Chiang Mai is surrounded by a brick wall and moat in the shape of a square. I think maybe it's an ancient palace? Not sure. Anyhow, it's about 4km around. Then we headed for some brunch, after our morning shakes of course. We spent the rest of the morning and afternoon laying out by the pool working on our tans. It's been a blissful day in which I've enjoyed every moment. We'll head back out for another day of climbing tomorrow. There. Now you're caught up. Whew!