Leaving on a Jet Plane

Don’t know when we’ll be back again. 2 days and counting! I can’t believe that we will be on a plane headed for Korea in T-30 hours.

For a long time, I felt like our time at home was inching by ever so slowly. That is until this week, which has flown by so quickly. Today, it finally hit me. Our time is almost up. We said goodbye to my mom last night and this morning I woke up a little sad knowing that I won’t be able to hug her again for a long time. It made me realize that no matter how long we stay here and visit, it never becomes any easier to say goodbye. It’s a bittersweet time.

I’ve been spending as much time as possible with my dog, Legend. She is my girl and I love her to pieces. Thinking about having to live without her again makes me cry. I know it sounds funny, but I almost miss her more than anybody else when I’m away. I can’t talk to her on skype like I can with people. I can’t rub her belly, throw her tennis ball, play tug-o-war, take her on walks, give her kisses, and roll around in the grass with her. That is how she knows I love her. It breaks my heart to have to say goodbye to her. How I wish she could come with us.

I live with a bit of guilt knowing that I’ll soon be leaving my faithful companion behind again. The only thing that makes it bearable is to know that she is in good hands. She stays with Dusty’s parents while we’re away. They love on her. They let her come inside and hide in the bathroom when it’s stormy outside and she’s afraid. She has a big backyard to run and play in. She has two 4-legged friends named Toby and Sadie to keep her company. She has what she thinks is her very own swimming pool during the summer to keep her cool. I know she will be happy and taken care of.

Being home for so long has been great. We’ve spent virtually 3½ months on vacation. It’s been a once in a lifetime opportunity. We’ve visited just about all of our friends and family. We’ve gotten to climb and ski. We’ve had time to relax, watch TV, and go see movies. We’ve managed to do a year’s worth of shopping in just a few short months. We’ve slept in and laid in bed reading until late in the afternoon. We’ve taken lots of walks, gone on several runs, and a few bike rides. We’ve eaten lots of good food (more than we should have). And now it is time to go. We are rested, rejuvenated, energized, and ready to start our next big adventure together, just the two of us, with the world as our playground.

We’re ready for new experiences and challenges. We’re ready to meet more amazing people. We’re ready to have our own little apartment near the beach. We’re ready to invest in the lives of college students. We’re ready to start teaching and using our creativity. We’re ready to study Korean. We’re ready to climb more rocks and travel to foreign lands. We’re ready to roll up our sleeves and get down to work.

Being home has possessed it’s own challenges. I think we both feel like our lives have been somewhat stagnant lately. I have felt like an observer, a fly on the wall. Everyone else around us has a life. People are busy getting on with daily routines and tasks, going to work, taking care of children, cleaning and organizing, upholding commitments, attending to responsibilities, planning, living. We’ve been on the sidelines cheering everyone on but we haven’t felt the freedom to jump in the race because we’ve known our stay is just temporary. We’ve been the onlookers just trying to find ways to help. In a strange way I have felt lonely and left out. We haven’t had many opportunities to focus on our own lives. Instead we’ve felt as though our lives have been on hold. Our goals and interests, the things we typically pursue, the ways we usually spend our time, have all been on the backburner. We haven’t been able to control our time, structure our days, or plan independent of others for quite some time now. Focusing on others has been humbling and rewarding. I’m reminded that the world doesn’t revolve around me, and my life. I’ve been forced to let go of my own agenda and see beyond myself. I’ve learned to be more patient, adaptable, and flexible. I’ve done a lot of listening and not so much talking. It’s been a season of stillness and rest.

And now, the seasons are once again changing and it’s time to go. Though America is our home, our lives and hearts are still in Korea. It’s time to wake up from our hibernation (and burn off that spare tire around my belly), time to set things in motion, time to become active participants in the world. I’m excited! I can’t wait to see what God has in store for us in this next season of life!