Did you know that we are celebrities?

At least that's how I feel living here. I have gotten quite used to people starting at us everywhere we go, especially staring at me. Many Koreans are mesmerized by light hair and blue eyes. A few weeks ago, a bunch of my foreign co-workers and I were walking through a department store with a couple of our Korean co-workers. Jane, one of my Korean co-workers said to me, "Rebecca, what is going on? Why is everybody staring at us?" I thought it was funny because none of us foreigners even noticed anybody was staring. We're just so used to it by now. I told her, "This is what it's always like for us everywhere we go." She said, "Really. I can't believe it. It's so rude." I know it's rude to stare but people just can't help it. They try to be discreet but it's hard when you're so curious about someone. I know I stare at people sometimes too. Then when they catch me staring, I always look away. Koreans are the same way. As soon as I make eye contact with them, they look away. But as soon as I turn my head, I can feel their eyes on me again. Maybe some people enjoy this kind of attention, but I am not one of those people. I like to remain anonymous and blend in with the crowd.

Well last Sunday afternoon, Dusty and I were just wanting to get away for a few hours and spend some time alone with each other without having to be around a bunch of other people. Since we basically live in a commune and our living environment isn't conducive to peace and quiet, we decided to take a hike and try to find some good bouldering. We took the crash pad with us. For those of you who don't know, a crash pad is like a big mat that you lay at the bottom of the rock so that when you fall, you don't get hurt. They make them so that they fold up and can be worn like a backpack. This makes it fairly easy to hike with a crash pad.

Boy, did we draw attention to ourselves! First of all, we're weagooks (foreigners). Second of all, Dusty is carrying this huge square Sponge-Bob-ish crash pad on his back. Third of all, we went on a Sunday afternoon which is the busiest time of the week for Korean hikers. The crowds were horrible! I felt more like I was at Disneyland than hiking up the side of a mountain. I swear, every Korean who passed us on their way down the trail stopped and turned and pointed at us. Several of them spoke in Korean to their friends trying to figure out what the heck we were doing. A few of them even tried asking us what the crash pad was for. NOBODY walked past us without staring.

Well, then we found our boulder. A great big one with several problems on it to try. The only problem was that this boulder was right next to the trail and was part of a large gathering area where people could stop and rest. So, we had an audience. Probably anywhere from 10-30 Koreans at a time would stop to watch and cheer for us. Some of them would come try the problems. Some wanted to tell us how to do it, even though they had never bouldered before. One guy even came up to feel Dusty's muscles as he was getting ready to climb. What the heck! Mind your own business, people! Go away! I just want to climb in solitude and be left alone. Instead, I felt pressure to perform and make it to the top of the problems we were trying. And they were really hard problems. I could feel all the eyes staring at me. I just couldn't enjoy the bouldering experience knowing that everyone was watching. It was frustrating.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm suffocating in this place. There is literally, nowhere I can go in this city to be alone. There is no silence, ever. The city never sleeps. Even the mountains are crowded. I realize I'm being somewhat insensitive of the Koean people. I don't mean them any disrespect. They mean well and are very polite and hospitable. But with so many people crowded into such a small amount of square miles, there is no respect for personal space. Personal space just doesn't exist. I feel like I live in an animal exhibit at the zoo. I'm an animal trapped in this small cage and everyone comes to see me. And I just want to break free.

Three more months and we'll be home for awhile. I can't wait to be out of this environment. It's been a huge challenge for me this year. Living in a huge city, in communal-style living with other foreigners, in a tiny apartment with my husband, it's taken a toll on me, an introvert who likes her own time and space. I look forward to the day when we leave. Until then, I've just got to keep fighting for survival one day at a time.